Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Lamp light

Lamp light.  senk 2013
Lamp light slips off the wooden table and pools upon the floor. It's brightness cuts through the dark morning so clearly and yet still creates a cozy glow, into which I have nestled with Gratian as he sips milk from my breast. Another early-rising boy rushes into the room. His footsteps are so adamant that I expect to see tangible prints pressed into the pool of light on the floor, as if he rushed through sand along a beach.

But, the light is only disrupted for a moment. And, even then, it slides across his feet and falls once again where it had crept. Placing his head in the soft, dark-blue seat of the rocking chair, my three-year-old closes his eyes, smiles, and says, "Where's Ezra?"

"Hmmm... where is Ezra?" I reply. "Is he under the bedcovers?"

"Ha! No," says Ezra.

"Is he in the cedar chest?"


"Well, is he behind the curtain?"

"No! Here he is!" And, Ezra jumps up with his arms wide. "Did you see me?"

I ponder my son's question. Often, I am so focused on what is directly in front of me that I miss what is going on around me. And then, for that, my surroundings are so chaotic - constant noise and motion as a result of three sons 6 years of age and younger - that I long to recede into my interior life. I long for quietude and times to sit in contemplation, either reading, writing, or savoring the bit of God I find in nature and through my artistic endeavors. 

In reading, "Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light," a collection of her writings compiled by Brian Kolodiejchuk, I find myself desirous of the type of focus she placed on her relationship with Jesus. A life of contemplation and service - though it may be romanticized in my mind - sounds wonderful. And yet, though it may not be what I intended for my life, it is what I have received in being a homeschooling mother. My mission is here - mingled in the daily grind of life with three children. My mission is here - working the knots out of my spirit in an attempt to be more Christ-like while caring for the needs of my sons, even in those times I would rather serve myself. 

Where is your mission, friend? You might not be a missionary in another country, but that doesn't mean you are without a mission. Look at your life and see what God has clearly placed in your path today. Like the pooling light, let your focus lead you to serve the souls you meet today - whether they are weary or jubilant, grumpy or kind.

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